Inspired by “Spatial Form” Anthea Alley.
Swiftly flitting silver swimmers
Not their own element
Movement captured
Immobile in metal, jagged and jarring
School stationery
Solid and still
Bound by the space between
Circles and squares
No adhesive
Quicksilver fluidity, turning synchronicity
Freeze frame.
Mandy Ross – August 2019
For more on Ekphrastic poetry, forms and how tos.
Inspired by the TED Talk “The Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche.
What is the single story you think others have ascribed to you?
The single story I think others have assigned to me is that because I talk all the time, I’m never lonely. They think that happy, crazy me must have loads of friends. I think that when people hear that I have depression, they disbelieve me. They cannot seem to connect my normal, everyday personality with a person who sometimes struggles to do anything. That I could be a person who could think driving up the street for necessities was too hard. People sometimes assume that a Christian mum and teacher has never experienced any of the bad/wrong or misbehaving parts of life. People are wrong.
************************************
This is my response to the question above that I set for my Year 11 English class and wrote along with them.
Veritas,
Eski
On any given day, we have few items on our bathroom counter. Vitamin jars, hair gel, re-dehydrated dinosaurs, toothbrushes, you know what I mean.
Tonight, only a few extra objects grace the surface. A few cups and glasses, a Pokeball and a couple of tubes. And in the dark, I almost picked the toothpaste.
Turns out that while peppermint heel balm smells good, it’s not quite as effective, or as pleasant tasting, as the old triple stripe.
I think I would have preferred the dinosaurs.
This is a conference of verbs
Of action, of being, doing and having.
Of heads bent
In study
In weariness
In lament
In prayer
In passionate writing
In submission.
Of movement
In buses
In search of caffeine…and sugar
In halls of honour and power
In cold water
In beds
Between bunks
Between rooms (a nod to ‘those boys’)
In groups
and in solitude
For God.
Of hands raised
In question
In offering
In worship
In awe.
Of voices raised. Of lips curved and bent.
In question
In prayer
In discussion
In song
In laughter
In harmony
In anger
I’m amen
In lament
In worship
In “Hey, Ho!” “Hoo hoo” And “Huh, there it is!”
In pain
In joy.
Of bodies moving.
In dance
In sweat
In friendship
In sweat
In pretending to dance
In sweat
In do se do-ing, swinging around, stripping the willow, progression and waltzing
And sweat
In hilarity…and sweat
In love
In sweat
In trying to dance
In sweat.
Of standing
In lines
In honour
In agreement
In the promises of God.
This is a people of verbs.
Of action, of being, doing and having.
Of love.
Of God.
Of leading.
Amen.
Poem from Compass Christian School Leaders Conference
Meet Chris, Ian and Victoria (the sheep) of Purple Dove Awareness Group and Food is Free.
They welcomed Theo and I to their home with (literally) open arms. We had never met before, but that made no difference. A few text messages and we are friends.
This would be the case with anyone they meet, I’m sure. In fact, complete strangers have benefited from their generosity for many years already. Things don’t always turn out the way you might predict.
We’ve come to The Summit, outside Stanthorpe, today to learn how to weave ghastly grey grocery bags into waterproof sleeping mats for those who are sleeping rough. Along with that skill, we’ve learned of the quite phenomenal work of Chris and Ian. If there is an hour in which they can help someone else, they’re probably already doing that.
Within a year of Chris and Ian’s marriage, Ian was diagnosed with prostate cancer and given 10 months to live. That was 10 years ago. Now, between treatments and surgeries, Ian and Chris run garage sales and market stalls and organise the markets at the Stanthorpe Showgrounds on the fourth Saturday of each month. The funds they raise are all sent to support both prostate cancer and breast cancer.
Not long ago, they set up raised garden beds, a lot of them, on their own property in which they grow a variety of vegetables. These are cared for by them and placed in a stand by the road at the end of their long driveway, not to sell, but as part of “Food is Free”.
“We don’t want people to feel bad if they need help,” said Chris. “When it’s like this, they can come past and take what they need without having to ask for it and perhaps feel like they’re being judged.”
And it’s becoming a cooperative part of the community. Someone left a note and a bag of miniature shampoos and conditioners near the veges the other week. They had a surplus and knew someone else might benefit from it.
There are helpers, too. Sometimes there are 10 or more people weaving bags into mats under the watchful eyes of Victoria, the mower sheep.
“Victoria was Victa,” explained Ian, “Then we turned her over and she’s Victoria. We bought her to be friends with out other sheep, but they don’t like each other, so she’s up here with us.”
Victoria spends her days being loved and fed by visitors – including Theo, mowing – obviously, and being followed by the cat. Wherever you find Victoria, the cat will be there, curled up comfortably on Victoria’s body, enjoying the pre-production, nature’s own, walking blanket!
Like me, you probably think that this is a pretty big undertaking for a couple who are, ostensibly, retired. It didn’t start with these activities and it hasn’t stopped with JUST these, either. Not at all.
In 2015/2016, Chris was part of Walk for Life. With Ian trailing her with their caravan and car, Chris walked around Australia for 12 months! Raising money for both prostate and breast cancer, Chris walked each day. They raised about $40,000! And that seems like it was just the beginning of the philanthropic story. As they travelled and stopped to sleep each night, Chris and Ian met many homeless people and those who were living in their cars; it’s more common than I realised. When they returned home, they decided to do something to help and it grew from there.
During the hour and a half I visited, Ian took two phone calls and this meant they were heading out to pick up a large donation of furniture as soon as we left, before a doctor’s appointment later in the day.
“That happens all the time,” Chris told me, “People know we help so they often ring us to pick up things like that. They also know to call us of they’ve got people who need something. We can usually put something together. Do you want to see the container?”
We walked past more garden beds, and Victoria and the cat in the shade, to unlock a newly purchased, roofed by Ian, container. This now holds all the goods that Chris and Ian can’t house elsewhere until it finds its home with someone in need. Shelves of blankets, toiletries, clothes, towels, appliances, furniture, knitted beanies, items for markets and garage sales and….loads of things, line the walls. All are totally organised so Chris knows she can put together a package with ease, depending on the specific need.
I’m sure there is more that I didn’t ask about or find out about, after all we were only there a short time, but I do know that these ventures need time and support. From what I know, Chris and Ian are unlikely to ask for any assistance, but if you’d like to see a little more of what they’re doing, encourage them, and possibly support their efforts to support others, I expect they’d find a need to fill. You can visit their Facebook pages below.
Thanks again, Chris and Ian, for your welcome, your hospitality and the great work that you are doing every day (and the zucchinis!).
Each Monday night, I hold a children’s group while their parents are learning about Loving Our Kids on Purpose. I currently have 8 kids from 3 years to approx 7 years old. Tonight I took them to the Primary playground (it has a gate they can’t open and this is important!). For the past 3 weeks, the older boys have been playing “Super Secret Agent Assassin Ninja Zombie Heroes” and this week one of the SSAANZs was under the lowest part of the fort.
“What are you doing under there, Ninja Assassin Zombie?” I asked.
“I’m making a booby trap!” he replied, happily.
“That sounds fabulous,” I said. “All the bad guys better watch out!”
“Yeah, anyone who comes under here gets their boobies chopped off!”
😲🤤
I’m not kidding. He wasn’t being cheeky, not silly about being able to say “boobies”, just an obvious answer when you’re 7, apparently.
When I could contain my laughter and breathe normally again, I couldn’t help but broach the subject again. I’m a teacher, it’s kinda my job, you know?
“Did you know that even though they’re called booby traps, it doesn’t mean that boobies get chopped off?”
I had not finished speaking before he jumped in, shocked that I would even suggest such a thing,
“Yes, it does. That’s what happened to my dad!”
“Pardon?” This I have to hear.
“Yes. That’s what happened to my dad in First War 2. He went in a booby trap and got his boobies chopped off. That’s why he’s got no boobies any more!”
I’m not often speechless.
Veritas,
Eski.
PS. Thanks to Dee Hudson of Striving to be Kind for the “Conversations” idea.
Neal and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary yesterday.
Much to the disgust of our children, we did not go somewhere romantic, have a dinner out or holiday somewhere advertised as a couples’ getaway. Instead, he slept so he could work again last night and provide for us while I spent the day with my mum and aunty and the kids.
We bathed dogs, made Anzac biscuits, sat in aircon, picked up my cousin’s car, moved furniture and made dinner. The day before we bought a car, which, contrary to registry lists and romance novels was not platinum and was fully financed after a slightly nervous wait. We will pick it up sometime.
Hopefully prior to me taking the small kid away for the weekend to see friends and have a Wild Mountains adventure.
I decided not to post to Facebook yesterday as Neal already had and he’d written some really honest and lovely things about me and our time together so far. People have congratulated us and I really appreciate that.
This morning though, I saw one of those copy and paste and share posts and, as I read it, felt the honesty of it and decided to share it here instead. I don’t want to get too caught up in the idea of writing for likes.
If I’m really honest, which isn’t easy, even some of what’s written below isn’t always the truth of long term relationships, be they friends, family or spouses.
Sometimes it’s weeks of being irritated with everything the other person does and not wanting to admit that it’s more because you’re irritable than anything they may or may not do. It’s about not having been effective budgeters, again, and trying really hard not to argue about that. And sometimes succeeding. It’s about figuring out your life isn’t a romance novel or movie and being ok with that, even when you love them (books and spouses). Sometimes it’s about having one person always giving massages and the other one pretending to for about 3 minutes each year to ‘balance things out’ even though they never intend to change the status quo. (Let’s all make assumptions about who does what in my relationship and be kind to the author, ok?)
Sometimes long-lasting relationships are about reading books or going to seminars that will help, in the hope that some of your newly-found knowledge will transfer to the other person by osmosis, because they clearly need to learn this stuff! It’s about awesome kids you’ve created together who you now disagree how to raise. Or loving one another even if you don’t always like one another.
Despite my many qualifiers above, it isn’t all tiptoe and testiness; compromise and buts. Sometimes it surpasses rom coms by miles! Sometimes you say the right thing at the right time and your spouse really understands how you feel about them…in a good way. Flowers and chocolates are always good, so are Xbox Gold passes and 3D printers and pies or Coke at the right time.
We’ve found love exists in silently agreeing to listen like you care to stories of ‘a student of mine’ or admiring ‘the best blood-spatter painting’. Or just knowing that you cook and I fill in all forms. Ad infinitum.
We’ve found love is hanging onto God because you can’t hang onto anything else and make it. And if we can struggle and succeed through like this, you can, too.
Thanks to Catherine for sharing.
*Lifelong commitment is not what everyone thinks it is. It’s not waking up early every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It’s not cuddling in bed together until both of you peacefully fall asleep. It’s not a clean home and a homemade meal every day.
It’s someone who steals all the covers. It’s sometimes slammed doors, and a few harsh words, disagreeing, and the silent treatment until your hearts heal. Then…forgiveness!
It’s coming home to the same person everyday that you know loves and cares about you, in spite of and because of who you are. It’s laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid. It’s about dirty laundry and unmade beds without finger pointing. It’s about helping each other with the hard work of life! It’s about swallowing the nagging words instead of saying them out loud.
It’s about eating the cheapest and easiest meal you can make and sitting down together at 10 p.m. to eat because you both had a crazy day. It’s when you have an emotional breakdown, and your love lays with you and holds you and tells you everything is going to be okay, and you believe them. It’s when “Netflix and chill” literally means you watch Netflix and hang out. It’s about still loving someone even though sometimes they make you absolutely insane.
Living with the person you love is not perfect, and sometimes it’s hard, but it’s amazing and comforting and one of the best things you’ll ever experience.
(Go ahead and share a picture of the person you love and copy and paste this, make their day.)*
Love and veritas,
Eski 🐛
It may not come as any surprise to you that I have a bit of a ‘thing’ for words, meaning, phraseology, etymology and all things language. Due to Mummy interference, I expect, my kids learned to read very early on, the latest taught himself. I can validate just about anything; waffle and buzz words are a specialty and my poetic license renews quarterly, but I think this shortest kid, currently 5, is going to outstrip me. The imagination is amazing! I’m actually thrilled! 😚
Tonight’s moment:
VERY SMALL CAT (VSC):
Hiss! Scratch!😼
MASTER 5 (M5):
Ow! Aargh! (Genuine fright and real tears follow) 😢
VSC: exits quickly stage right 💨
M5: is gathered up by next youngest brother and mummy for cuddles
Sniffle. Sniffle. (2 minutes maximum)
M5: I want VSC to apologise! 😡
MUMMY: How would you like her to do that, sign language or meowing? Has an ‘I am hilarious’ look on face.
M5: 😠 I just want her to say sorry for hurting my foot and my feelings.
MUMMY: I know, but how can she do that? ‘Meow-ry, M5’?
M5: I have to tell her she’s not being pleasant and when she does that, I feel like she wants all the love and doesn’t want me to have any love.
MUMMY: 🤤😲😨 Pardon? (Apologies, but WTF would seem appropriate here.)
M5: repeats previous statement, with feeling and lip quiver. 😭😢
Where does he get these things?!
Last week we caught up with friends at an indoor play centre. M5 appeared to be immobilised in a very small ball pit by an unknown Miss 3 waving/hitting with a small kids’ book. From 3 metres away, I could see the look of surprise, shock and indignation on M5’s face, “Why would she do that?!”
I called to him to move away, a few times actually, before he shook off the apparent petrification and took two steps backwards. Miss 3 followed, book raised. By this time, all five of the mums with me were watching, interested in the stand off. Miss 3’s mum realised what was happening and stepped in to move her daughter.
Noticing all of us watching, M5, totally serious, raised his still tiny forefinger stiffly and intoned with purpose,
“If she does that one more time…
REVENGE!”
I am thankful that I was sitting on the floor. We all fell about laughing, much to M5’s disgust. He walked away to more mature interactions in the cubby house.
I did feel the need to tell my friends, still laughing, that we don’t teach revenge as a matter of course in our home.
Love the odd little being so much!
🤣 Eski
Sometimes families are wonderful. I love my ‘little’ nest of people and the small menagerie we have accumulated. Sometimes they drive me to distraction or make me long for a distraction, sure, but they are there and they love me. They tell me so. In words, in teacups, in cooking, washing, technological assistance and cleaning up cat poo.
Sidenote: I am a grown woman with 4 children but I cannot clean up after cats without gagging. This appears to be my kryptonite. Which, when you think about it, makes far more sense than actual kryptonite. Pretty green stones vs icky cat mess. It’s a no brainer.
Anyway. Love is obvious in these and many other ways in my household.
Throughout my extended family, love is shown in other ways. We don’t live in the same city, so visits are always wonderful. Phone calls, texts and emails are also appreciated. Invite me to stay. Pay for a trip. Buy coffee. Hug me. Talk. All say, “I love you.”
My in-laws are a mystery to me. They say “family is everything” but I’m left wondering when inaction speaks louder than words. And even of words, there are few. Mostly mine.
The kids and I will be in town for these dates. Let me know when we can see you, please.
Nothing.
Arrive tonight. Let me know when we could catch up.
Nothing.
?????????
What is going on? I do not understand. No acknowledgement. Certainly no possible plans. Just nothing.
Hmmmm. I’ll try Facebook. I’ve seen your posts, I know you’ll see this.
GROUP MESSAGE:
Kids and I arrive tonight for 7 days. We are planning our time and would love to see you. Will you let me know what might work please?
An hour later, I receive one (of 6 possible) replies:
I’ll let you know. Busy with work as I’ve been promoted.
I get it. Work is busy. I know that in my own life. But 24/7 for the next week? No time for coffee? Hmm.
A day later:
***** has left the group.
Well, that’s pretty clear.
And after that:
One (who is widely considered THE most unreliable in family) writes:
How long are you here for? I’d really like to introduce my new partner. My phone number has changed since last time so if you’ve tried to text me, I didn’t get it. New number is *******. I’ll call tomorrow when we can work something out.
Well, seems like the same old deal. It’s always this way. He’s rubbished by many family members and sometimes drives you nuts, but he ALWAYS makes time for us. ALWAYS. Actions, right?
The week before, having received no reply via text, I created a Facebook event for the youngest’s 3rd birthday. His actual birthday is just days after we go home, so why not get everyone together for a little cake? Right? Nope. Not a single rsvp from the same people. Friends from my high school days, some of whom I know better now via FB than I did at school, have replied in the affirmative. Family in law? Not one. (This happened for two consecutive years!)
I don’t know what else to do! For my own sake, I couldn’t care less, but for my children and my disappointed husband, I care a lot. What message is this sending them? Hmmmm.
Let me tell you what I’m hearing:
– You aren’t worth my time.
– I don’t want to see you.
– I don’t care that you live at the other end of the state.
– Niece? Nephews? Grandchildren? Who?
And that hurts me for their sakes.
What I want to do is tell (some of) them where to go. I want to send them this rant. I want to go visit and say it straight out. I want a reason. I want my husband to feel like a valued family member. What I want to do is tell (most of) them to stick it.
What will I do? Probably make a phone call and try to squeeze ourselves in. Make children visit so they can be roundly ignored for the allocated hour; or be told how naughty, rude, goth, lazy etc they are. Try to make polite conversation and hope that I can communicate, pleasantly and perhaps too subtly, how important family is to us. This will be agreed with and then ignored again til next time. Try to comfort my husband by playing nice and making more of an effort to insert ourselves where it appears we aren’t wanted so that others don’t look bad for not having seen us.
Things that make you go, “Hmmmm.”
Veritas,
Eski
Child psychologists recognise a developmental stage in very young children where they cannot lie. At this stage, children believe that what is in their head is also in yours – you know what they know.
While this is true for some parents – you know how mums just sometimes know? – children learn reasonably quickly that they can hide things from you and are able to lie outright pretty quickly, which is a bit of a shame, really. But wouldn’t this perceived shared understanding actually be helpful in some cases?
Imagine being unable to explain to someone how you feel, really feel, but that’s ok, because they already know. They have that access to your head. Obviously, this is not something you’d want ALL the time, but imagine the freedom of not having to explain the back story to your situation.
Possibly, for introverts at least, this seems a good thing, something they don’t naturally do. But for extroverts like me, we want you to know EVERY LAST DETAIL of the story, all the tiny bits and pieces that made up our life as we came to this place. You can’t just know where we are now, but you must want to know (well, we want you to know) all of the bounces and reflections, like a pinball machine that dropped us through the bottom and popped us back up to the new starting position.
I often find that I’d love to have that insider knowledge when I’m listening to someone else and wondering what they’re thinking. I interrupt too often, derailing the flow of their story because I want more information. For introverts, this can be incredibly distracting and irritating. I try not to do it, but I’m trying to be an active listener!
What technology would you devise to share this headspace info? What about a cloud above the speaker’s head? Like a video screen? A chip in yours that bluetooths their information to your head immediately? Nothing? You don’t want anyone to know those thoughts? What about a grip like a Vulcan Mind Meld? Google glasses? It could be interesting, don’t you think?
In imagination,
Eski
Eski Caterpillar! 